International Pronouns Day: understanding and using gender pronouns

October 20th is International Pronouns Day which is a day-long online campaign to normalise the sharing of gender pronouns, and help share information about respectful pronoun use.

We are committed to respecting and celebrating the individual identities of the people we support and represent, and to evolving our knowledge and practice to recognise the wide number of ways our community expresses gender.

Pronouns play a significant role in respecting someone’s gender identity. Using the correct pronouns acknowledges a person’s sense of self and helps create a welcoming environment for everyone.

Once you know someone’s pronouns it is important that you always use these, even when the person is not present.

Misusing someone’s pronouns, whether by accident or due to a lack of knowledge, can lead to feelings of disrespect. However, making mistakes is part of learning, and what matters is how we handle them. If you use the wrong pronouns, simply correct yourself, apologize briefly, and continue the conversation.

Gender pronouns have evolved to accommodate a range of identities, reflecting gender diversity. People use these pronouns to express their gender identity or lack of affiliation with traditional gender categories. Here’s a comprehensive list of commonly used gender pronouns:

Traditional Binary Pronouns

He/Him/His: Typically used for men or masculine-identifying individuals.
Example: “He is going to the store. I saw him there with his friend.”

She/Her/Hers: Typically used for women or feminine-identifying individuals.
Example: “She is going to the store. I saw her there with her friend.”

Gender Neutral Pronouns

They/Them/Theirs: Commonly used by individuals who identify as non-binary, genderqueer, or who prefer a gender-neutral pronoun.
Example: “They are going to the store. I saw them there with their friend.”

Neopronouns (new or less common gender-neutral pronouns)

Ze/Zir/Zirs (or Zie/Zir/Zirs): A gender-neutral pronoun often used by people who do not identify within the gender binary.
Example: “Ze is going to the store. I saw zir there with zirs friend.”

Ze/Hir/Hirs: Another variant of neopronouns.
Example: “Ze is going to the store. I saw hir there with hirs friend.”

Xe/Xem/Xyr: Another gender-neutral option.
Example: “Xe is going to the store. I saw xem there with xyr friend.”

Ey/Em/Eirs: Derived from “they” without the “th.”
Example: “Ey is going to the store. I saw em there with eirs friend.”

Fae/Faer/Faers: Used by some individuals who prefer non-standard gender-neutral pronouns.
Example: “Fae is going to the store. I saw faer there with faers friend.”

Xe/Xir/Xirs: A variation of “xe/xem/xyr.”
Example: “Xe is going to the store. I saw xir there with xirs friend.”

It/Its: Although “it” has been used historically in a derogatory manner, some people reclaim these pronouns for themselves.
Example: “It is going to the store. I saw it there with its friend.”

No Pronouns / Name Only: Some individuals prefer to avoid pronouns altogether and ask others to use their name instead. For example:
“Jordan is going to the store. I saw Jordan there with Jordan’s friend.”

Mixing Pronouns
Some people  use a combination of pronouns (e.g., she/they, he/they), allowing flexibility depending on the context.
Example: “They are going to the store, and she will meet us there later.”

What if I make a mistake?

Mistakes happen! Everyone makes them. It’s what we do when we make a mistake that is most important. Here are some strategies for what to do when you’ve made a mistake or witnessed someone make a mistake with someone’s pronouns.

When you make a mistake: If you use the wrong pronouns for someone in a conversation and you immediately recognise it, correct yourself, apologize, and move on in the conversation. It’s important here not to make the situation about yourself, your intention, or make excuses about the mistake. The best way to demonstrate that you care about this individual and are supportive of them is to correct the error and move forward.
Example: “Oh she’s a great friend. I’m sorry, I meant they are a great friend. They always send me funny videos to cheer me up.”

Avoid dragging out the apology and making the other person comfort you for your mistake. We all make mistakes, and even if you feel terrible about it, it isn’t about you.

The most important thing when using pronouns is to show each other respect, try your best to remember to ask, and call people what they would like to be called!