Ace Awareness Week: what is asexuality
Asexuality, also known as Ace, is a valid sexual orientation within the LGBTQIA+ spectrum but is often misunderstood or overlooked. This Ace Awareness Week, let’s raise awareness about asexual identities and the unique experiences of ace people, so we can build a more inclusive community for all.
What is asexuality?
Asexuality is a sexual orientation where individuals feel little to no sexual attraction. It is not the same as abstinence which is a choice to avoid sex.
Someone asexual may still form romantic or emotional connections. The Split Attraction Model helps explain how some people may experience romantic attraction without sexual interest.
The asexual spectrum includes identities such as greysexual—experiencing rare or context-specific sexual attraction—and demisexual, where sexual attraction occurs only after deep emotional bonding. These terms reflect the diversity within the ace community.
The challenge of coming out as asexual
In a society that prioritises sexual relationships, coming out as asexual can be difficult. Media often presents sexual fulfilment as key to happiness, leaving many ace people feeling “broken.” This also affects people on the broader asexual spectrum, such as those who are aromantic, who feel little to no romantic attraction.
Ace individuals often face misconceptions, with others suggesting they’re going through a phase or “haven’t found the right person.” This invalidation can be frustrating and alienating.
Asexual representation in media
A major challenge for asexual people is the lack of representation in media. Ace identities are rarely portrayed, and when they are, they are often misunderstood. This makes it harder for ace individuals to find the language to express themselves or feel seen. Even subtle, accurate representation can provide vital validation. However, more needs to be done to bring ace identities into mainstream narratives.
Asexuality in queer spaces
Although part of the LGBTQIA+ acronym, Ace people can sometimes feel excluded in queer spaces. There’s a misconception that being queer must involve sexual or romantic attraction, leading to ace identities being seen as “not queer enough.”
However, queerness is about more than attraction; it’s about how people experience and express their identities in a world that marginalises those who don’t conform to societal norms. For asexual individuals, this means navigating a world that emphasises sexual attraction and romance.
How to be an ally to asexual people
- Educate yourself: learn about asexuality and the ace spectrum – understand the differences between romantic and sexual attraction.
- Believe them: when someone comes out as ace, listen and validate their experience.
- Challenge assumptions: recognise that fulfilling relationships can exist without sexual attraction.
- Use inclusive language: ensure asexual and aromantic people are acknowledged in LGBTQIA+ discussions.
- Support ace representation: advocate for better media representation of ace identities to validate their experiences.